Why, God, why?
Is there no one who understands?
Anger and guilt haunt me. Will it never end?
Will I ever have joy in my life again?
Are those questions haunting your thoughts? Have you lived in pain for years? Then we share a lot in common, and I want to connect with you.
We have both lost a loved one to suicide. I don’t know where you are as you travel the grief journey, but I care about you, and my intention in all my writing is to help others who are suffering after a suicide.
I grieve for you, because I understand your deep hurts. Those who haven’t suffered as we have, although they may imagine they understand, fall short of complete compassion. But I get it. I know. I understand.
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And there is One— who is the Father of complete compassion, who knows and understands everything, even the unspoken thoughts that plague us.There is a Son who suffered more than we can ever imagine. There is a Spirit who longs to comfort us and sustain us.
You may know Him, and I truly long for all to know Him, but right now—in the pit, in the middle of your sorrow, you question all of your beliefs, and I get that, too.
But God is never alarmed or upset about your questions. He loves it when his children ask questions, because he has all the answers and loves to share them with us—when we are ready to listen.
Are you ready to listen, at least open to listening? Oh, my suffering friend, I truly long to help. I will always affirm your pain, openly share the tangled feelings of guilt, anger, blame, rejection, self-pity, but I will never let you stay there.
That is where most post-suicide strugglers are—stuck. Oh, I understand that, too, because I was stuck, for years, and I was stubborn, and I was all about self, but self never heals.
Come, let me help…let me help you out of the pit.
Come, let me help you move forward in your life…I have healing truths to share.
Come, let me help you to joy…the gift from the One who loves you.
Trust me. I know. I’m your understanding friend,
A Kiss From God
What is a kiss, a touch of love—his breath upon on my face?
O Lord, your kiss was life to me and faith was its embrace.
But now I’m lost, O Lord…sad, weary, broken, stuck in grief.
Where is the joy…your loving kiss…now stolen by the thief.
The Thief of Death has come…I’m shattered to the core—
O Lord, I need relentless Grace, your love—oh, I need more.
Be my Shepard, be my Friend. Give me a brand-new start.
Kiss my troubling thoughts away…your kiss will still my heart.
Have you lost a loved one to suicide?
Or do you know someone who has?
Have you been deeply wounded and not yet healed?
Or do you know someone who is there?
Have you tried, again and agin, to overcome your pain, your guilt, your rebellion?
So have many others, including me. I battled my way through a dark time. For years, I fought my way through guilt, shame, sorrow, and an unforgiving heart. I have scars, but they are also my claim to victory. My heart was broken, but I do have joy again in daily life. I would like to share with you, not only the battle, but also the process of moving forward to a life with peace and hope!
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