This is not my life’s greatest moment. No, it isn’t something I’m especially proud of, but it is an honest statement after the suicide death of our eighteen-year old son. I was shocked and stunned, and I couldn’t understand my loving Heavenly Father. “Why God? Why?” was my prayer, and when no answer came, I shifted my point of view. I closed my heart and mind to God.
And then…
Absolutely nothing good happened.
I became bitter, full of envy, self-pity, and anger. Yes, I closed my heart and mind to God my Friend and my Father...and my stubbornness kept me there. I was miserable, and I thought that was going to be my life forever. How wrong I was!
I share this with you today, especially with all those who are suffering after a suicide loss in their family, because this reaction is often normal behavior. You are sorrowful, suffering, and sad. I understand that completely. But you need not stay there forever.
You can open your heart and mind to the Son of God, to Jesus, your Savior. He understands sorrow, suffering, and sadness like no one who ever walked the earth. He screamed out this prayer to his Father, “My God, my God, why have you abandoned Me?” (Mark 15:34) He, too, felt forsaken by his Father. He, too, asked the inevitable “Why” question. He understands you and loves you, and he desires to heal you.
Open your heart to Jesus through this simple prayer, “Jesus, I know you understand. Help me to heal emotionally and spiritually after the death of my loved one. Help me to open my heart so that I do not stay in this sadness and sorrow forever. I want to be healed. I want to laugh again. I want to enjoy my friends and family again. Give me your wisdom and strength to overcome my sorrow. With you, Jesus, in my heart and mind, I know I will find peace, joy, and happiness. And I am grateful for you and your precious gift of grace. In your name, I pray.“ Amen
“No power in the sky above or in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus, our Lord.“ (Romans 8:39)
Praying for you today,
Elaine
And realize that even though you feel all alone- you had /have faithful friends praying for you.